We all know that our lives are incomplete without the contribution of women in our lives. They play an important role in shaping our personality and aiding the quality of our lives through their various and diverse roles and responsibilities. Be it mother’s love, sister’s care, aunt’s pampering, grandma’s affection; our lives are filled with enriching and soul-soothing experiences. We would not have even survived without them and even if we had survived, we would not have been the same that we are today. The roles and responsibilities of women are immense and often not understood properly. Hence, women themselves need a lot of love, care, help, understanding and nurturing and I am disheartened to notice that most women are not aware of it. Moreover, they are often pitched against each other and disempower each other unknowingly and that can be catastrophic not only for them but everyone around them.
On this women’s day, I want to empower women by encouraging them to contribute to each other’s empowerment. When I was a child I was aghast to learn the saying, “Women are women’s worst enemies.” I could not understand how that could be possible and why. Years later when I observed and faced it myself, I realised that yes that is possible and also to some extent I understood why. It all starts with not having enough courage and confidence that makes one woman become insecure about her own self and that results in her being in a strained relationship with other women. Sometimes lack of understanding also results in not valuing other women. Irrespectively, we have to understand that we, as a woman, need other women far more than anyone else in the world. Without the help, support, guidance and care of other women, it is not possible to live life peacefully and happily. Women’s contribution is essential for another woman and each woman must realise this in order to make necessary changes in their perception.
Our roles and responsibilities are very complex and often that puts us under immense pressure. Our responsibilities are not limited to just being one particular person but to play various roles in various relationships that change with every stage of life. Be it upbringing of the children or running the households, the roles change with each generation and era. The parenting style changes and so does the household chores and responsibilities hence we must keep ourselves updated constantly and that makes our lives very challenging. From changing the diapers to changing the light bulb we need to constantly keep evolving and learning and that is not possible without inputs from other women. Even in the world of digital media and availability of information, women still feel confused and insecure when it comes to their personal problems and health related anxieties; especially issues related to menses, childbirth, menopause or other sexual diseases; women often feel lonely and frustrated and the only person who can help is another woman. I have not come across any woman who has not discussed such things with their close friends and how much they have felt relieved. Some things are only understood by women and hence all the women need other women hence they must be seen as their aids, partners and buddies and not as a threat or competitor.
Let us help one another by being the pillar of strength, providing love, guidance, acceptance, care and support. Let us not criticise other women for weight, shape, size, social status, looks, dressing sense, intellectual capacities or lack of it. Let us not be jealous of other women’s success and rather take inspiration from them and be proud of their achievements. Let us not dump a friend when we no longer need them. Let us not use and abuse other women as and when needed. Let us not gossip or complain about other women in their absence to our friends or family. Let us not make other women insecure deliberately by complimenting their spouse/partner and ignoring them altogether. Let us not get too close to a friend’s husband/boyfriend and make the friend insecure and angry. Let us have our dignity intact and learn to draw lines and never cross them. Let us pledge to never become “the other woman” in any woman’s life. Let us not make other women jealous by bragging about our own achievements and ignoring their contributions. Let us not show off our possessions and make others feel inferior. Let us not disrespect women by calling her names, demeaning and disrespecting them. Let us not create the same cycle of abuse that we have witnessed ourselves. Often when we are hurt, we make the same mistakes and subconsciously repeat the cycle but one has to be mindful and move on and rise above the ordinary ways of thinking to prevent the cycle of abuse and harassment. Let us respect other’s boundaries and draw boundaries in our relationships. Let us not allow others to cross our boundaries. Let us not allow other people to rule our mind and dictate our mindset.
Let us help one another rise and shine in their lives. Let us help other women by guiding them with whatever knowledge we have. Let us help new mothers with our knowledge, experience and support. Let us offer our compassion to other women who may be struggling or suffering silently. Let us be the non-judgmental listener who can help a friend feel lighter when things go out of control. Let us accept each other and not judge each other for their choices and respect their choices. Let us not label any relation as “difficult” ie. the relationship between mother-in-law, daughter-in-law or sister-in-law. Let us learn to understand the point of view of our mothers-in-law and let us see things from our daughters-in-law’s perspective also. Let us create a new history where such relationships become an example for the new generation to cherish and celebrate. Let us celebrate womanhood and all the essence of being a woman. Let us protect our daughters and empower our daughters to be independent, confident and responsible adults. Let us accept and work on our weaknesses and accept others’ weaknesses as well. Let us make the world a beautiful place where we all empower one another because only an empowered woman can build an empowered family which in turn can make an empowered society, empowered country and world at large. Let us contribute to world empowerment by empowering the women in our lives.
Remember, we all need one another and we cannot live in this world in isolation. We are all connected to each other through invisible cord and one person’s emotions and thoughts affect all the people in the world and this may sound unbelievable but this is the reality and hence by offering our support, co-operation and kindness to others we contribute to our own wellbeing and progress. This is especially relevant in the relationship between women. When we change our focus from competition to cooperation and coordination, from belittling to befriending, from comparison to compassion, from disappointment to commitment, contentment and adjustment; we liberate ourselves from mediocre thinking and allow expansion in the right direction. Let us make that change and change our inner and outer world.
Happy Women’s day. Celebrate womanhood. Respect womanhood. Cherish Womanhood.
Parul Rana 